Monday, February 8, 2010


Thinking about the future appears to be tough task for me. I love studying but I’m not sure which course I gonna choose. If there is a chance that I am allowed to take up all courses available in the world, I might! Yeah, I’m crazing about studying...but sometimes It just looks like a grind to me, suffocating me. But sometimes, I love it. Some friends of mine said maybe I just like to torture myself. Yeah, I think so...perhaps.

And on the other hand, I love Music very much too. I think running my fingers on the piano keys with my eyes closed, creating a flow of melody that reflects my feelings at that moment is the most terrific feeling ever. However I’m incredibly lame at recognising I’m not surprised if my sight-reading actually fails. I think music is spontaneous. So, failing sight-reading is not a big deal to me, like I had mentioned it earlier.”I like composing stories, novel, etc... but not reading” My ”philosophy” is the same with music. But, I think I won’t make music my career...I know how tough it will be...unless god wants me to.

Becoming a doctor actually was my ambition since I am six or seven. I’m fascinated with the what doctors do. though, I always thought I am afraid of blood. But after yesterday, I found out that I never afraid of that, maybe I just subconsciously made that up for some reasons...^^
How about an engineer? I’m fascinated by their job too, cause my dad... you know. But somehow, I feel that something is missing. This the such a surreal thinking get me. I just don’t know if it suits me. But I guess if I’m really determined to do this, I’ll stick it out until the end and aim to be the best...hahaz

Making decision is not that easy. I’m feeling kinda like Robert Frost now. I really admire those who know exactly what to achieve in life. They are gifted, really, really gifted.

Okay, to make it easier, lets just cross out the so call “fooling around” course. I mean nearly every parents hope their children will be the best. They have high hopes for us. Well, nearly half of my class wanna be a XXX or YYY when they grow up. But do they really have the enthusiasm? Don’t ask me, I have no idea. It’s like “ I wanna be the best (Career) working at (gigantic international company).” When they were asked “why?”, what do you expect from them? Well, one of the smartest student in our school happens to open up to me. I still can remember his/her words vividly.

“ I don’t know, my friends (who always get lower scores) are going for XXX. so why don’t I follow the same course? I don’t wanna repent 10 years after all this and thought to myself: I used to be smarter than those XXX students.”

As for me, I’ll say:”....lets just think about that after getting our results.”

Well, if this situation persists , I’ll hand it all to fate, let God takes the wheel. You knows? Whatever will be will be. Perhaps I’ll go for the road that is covered by all those bushes( I LoVe challenges) , and leave the road not taken to the other me ( somewhere in a different dimension...I do believe that exist^^) . It might be the most correct decision I ever made...

1 comment:

Vivian said...

Erm, I tried to leave spaces between paragraph but to no avail...